Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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