I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
