Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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