Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize