I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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