I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
