I think I died a long time ago.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im part way to drunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
