that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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