This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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