a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
