I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nutella sex= disaster
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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