that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
