is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
