Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize