I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
