Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
