i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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