I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
