I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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