Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and she was petting her beer can
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize