i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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