So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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