she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
