Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
