Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
