Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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