Kareoke will never be a sober sport
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i believe in u and ur pee
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
