I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I supernannyed him into submission
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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