I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize