Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
