So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Every concussion has its silver lining
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
