In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
