You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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