if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
