You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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