I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
