'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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