just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
