not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
