That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
