is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
