I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
