Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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