after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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