Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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