take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
