if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This baby is an asshole
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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