There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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