Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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