man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
