I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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