Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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