Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
