do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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