oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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