Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
