the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
