Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
