ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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