i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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