it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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