k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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