Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Every concussion has its silver lining
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
